Blog Stories Verhalen About

The Shopping List
Starting dialogue for this sketchplay: Can I see your shopping list? Why?
 
 
What?
 
 
The shopping list. The one your husband made for you.
 
 
I wrote it my—
 
 
Madam, please. There are people waiting in line behind you!

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Baby formula. Are you sure you have the right one?
 
 
Yes.
 
 
How old is your child?
 
 
Thirteen months.
 
 
Are you sure?
 
 
(Baffled)You're asking me if I am sure?
 
 
(Looks up at her)Can I speak to your husband?
 
 
What?
 
 
Can you please call your husband for me?
 
 
Why?
 
 
Call him.
 
 
He's at work now, he is in an important meeting.
 
 
Well, in that case, I can't let you have these groceries, madam.
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I'm a cashier at Ballmart.(Pause)Yes.
I have a woman in front of me who wants to buy baby formula number three. Is that correct?

(Pause) And a sixpack of beers, but I don't see it on the shopping list. Can she have these?

 
 
But—
 
 
Ah, right. They're for you. She chose Dudweiser, is that right? (Pause) Okay. I see she also bought shampoo, peach—yes—okay. and I see spaghetti, does it have to be multigrain?

(Pause)Aha. Right.

No. The rest looks good.

Oh, wait!

Minced meat. She chose pork. Does it have to be low fat beef instead?

Doesn't say on your shopping list.

 
 
Oh, did she write—ah, okay.

Okay.

Yes, thank you.

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Madam! There are people waiting behind you.
 
 
Honey, did you know that there even was such a thing as multigrain spaghetti? And low fat beef minced meat! Wow!
 
 
Twenty nine dollars and seven cents.
 
 
(Turns to read the packaging of an item)Who'd have thought that Í had prepared Spaghetti Bolognese so, so incredibly wrong over all these years! Multi grain! Low fat!
 
 
Madam!
 
 
Gosh...(Looks at )How much did you say?
 
 
Twenty nine dollars and seven cents.
 
 
Are You Sure?

THE END